The Eyes of the Office

That is what I like to refer to myself! My professional experience in the administrative industry is just that. I am the first person everyone sees when they come in the office, the voice they hear on the phone......I love interacting with people on a daily basis. I thrive on communication, customer service and a fast paced environment. I exemplify what it means to be fast & quick, and that is why I love working as an admin/receptionist/assistant so much. I would like to explore possibilities in a career like this, that entails using my office and interpersonal/customer service skills in any kind of industry; I am very open and would like to think of myself as being very versatile. Did I mention I am also a fast typist? I type up to 79 wpm, and yes I took the typing test! Obviously I love to write, hence my blog and would love to find an open door that allows me to explore my creative mind with writing and reading.  I am open to any and all infinite possibilities!!! 

Farewell to an Unforgettable Experience

My time has now officially ended working in the New York City public schools as a Substitute Teacher.  It has been the  most eye-opening, drama filled, disturbing experience I had the pleasure of seeing firsthand.  I have had more experience and a more realistic view of the NYC educational system than most teachers will ever have, especially the teachers who teach where I grew up: Westchester County, NY and other "utopian" areas & communities here in the state of New York.
In such a short amount of time, I have had the opportunity to teach in all kinds of public schools here in the Greater NYC Area.  I have seen and personally experienced so many unbelievable issues directed towards me and children here in NYC who deserve a valuable education. I am very grateful that I was given the opportunity to teach in all subjects, grades, varying school districts all over Queens, Manhattan & Brooklyn. I plan on writing about this and everything I went through, everything children go through & the staff & administration face on a daily basis.  Now I understand why there are so many problems in this economy. I still love children, and every day when I taught for the D.O.E. I remember why I went into this profession in the first place: My love, empathy & deep affinity to help children develop as a healthy adult and to support them in their studies to give them the drive to want to learn and succeed in their future is infinite. Almost every day I taught here I marveled at what all of the teachers, guidance counselors and the administration go through on a daily basis. My hat goes off to them. These professionals that wake up early every morning day in & day out and work at an inner city school with kids that do not want to learn, are extremely defiant physically and verbally (at all ages), do not get paid enough (just one of many issues that is just barely scratching beneath the surface).  If you dig deeper, you will see that there is a reason why these students became like this, the root of the problem is not their fault, children are innocent hence the point of my blog/blog entry. It may be their upbringing, education and/or both. I hope one day this crisis will be rectified because like most things in life, it is unfair. Unfortunately, all industries of the world are corrupt, and the education system personally speaking is unfortunately one of them.
 A lot of people have the misconception that being a teacher is a very satisfying, easy career because they get the summers off, but let me tell you, the summers months go by very quickly compared to what they face on a daily basis.  For now, I am surmising my teaching experience, but like I previously stated, I will in time write everything I have experienced firsthand.  After this journey I just completed, I realize that I will always value education and my deep passion for children will never cease. Now I realize after teaching classes ranging from 25 up to 34 students independently that the actual art of teaching is too overwhelming & stressful for me to handle. Fortunately, I have had the opportunity to work in the administrative field while exploring the educational/teaching field where I worked so hard at to graduate with a M.S. in early childhood, childhood & Children with Disabilities. I also worked just as arduously to pass all of the NYS certification exams.  I do not regret any of it though, I am proud of myself that I took a chance at a career I thought I would love at the time and worked hard to prove to myself that I do have the drive & motivation to complete a graduate program and state exams. Some people are too lazy, are afraid to take a chance and not really know what will result from doing something new that entails a lot of studying & hard work. This degree won't go to waste, I will use it and transfer the skills that I acquired being a teacher and the knowledge of education to another profession that is related to this. 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

Getting all pretty for Thanksgiving! I am giving thanks for everything I have in my life, everyday.  I feel like sometimes it's easy to lose sight of all this, mostly because things happen that get you angry and upset. I have been feeling this way the past few days, but I am back on track and making myself well aware to the Thanksgiving of life, not just on this one Thursday every year during the month of November. 

I am very happy & grateful for everything.......Thank you to everyone that always supports me in my life, you know who you are : )

I woke up & smelled the proverbial coffee!!!!

In case you can't get a sense from what you have read so far since the inception of my blog, I am a very big coffee connoisseur, addict, enthusiast, coffee snob and any other synonym you can think of that describes an obsession for coffee! I must give credit, and even some blame for my mother being the catalyst of this?!?! Nah, I think there are worse addictions out there! Speaking of which, on a similar topic that subsequently follows what I previously wrote about controversial studies that are conducted and even taken back time & time again......Coffee has been praised for health benefits then disproved like a pendulum over & over that NOW "the word on the street" is that it is now encouraged AGAIN for its health benefits! Here is something new to add to it- according to studies it has also been "proven" to help burn up your metabolism more when you combine it with exercise. Let's see how long this overrated, ever changing verdict of coffee will last! I wanted to bring to light the topic of coffee literally & figuratively because I have been told so many time that coffee is so bad for you.....Even if the latest study is not true about it having health benefits & promoting weight loss combined with exercise, I find it hard to believe it so detrimental to your health if you lay off drinking it with sugar and putting a lot of milk/cream in it. As for people saying the "culprit" is the caffeine, well then I guess everyone has a caffeine addiction starting as a young child considering chocolate & soda also have caffeine in it! Please read the latest article on the benefits of coffee here: http://nypost.com/2016/08/14/a-cup-of-coffee-a-day-keeps-the-heart-doctor-away-study/?utm_content=bufferb4e61&utm_medium=social&utm_source=linkedin.com&utm_campaign=buffer I would love to know what you think. I know the New York Post isn't the most reliable source to go to, but this is one of many articles written about this that the NY Post is basically reiterating.  
 Anyway, I am sailing away from my point of this entry: I have literally & figuratively woke up & smelled and even (tasted) the coffee! I have been a sleep all of these past SIX years! I think I was in a coma and finally just came out of it! Somewhere after graduating with my M.S. in education until a year ago I realized what the f**k have I been doing with my life??!!! I am finally awake and alert and I am trying to create a whole new chapter of my life and remembering why I worked so arduously & assiduously on both of my degrees! It was not meant to work in a very unhealthy, toxic, dead end environment...for the past 6.5 years since I graduated with my M.S in education. All details and circumstances will remain anonymous.   

                           Life without coffee, is no life at all!!!! 

These boots are made for walk'n

Good afternoon. My long overdue blog entry is to inform you about the benefits of walking.  I had no idea that walking was this beneficial not only to your physical health & well being, but other factors such as your mind and generating creating ideas.  I always knew that walking for an extended period of time on a daily basis has rewards but I did not know to the extent until now.  Living here in New York City and not having a car and walking everywhere & taking public transportation, I did not feel guilty and like a couch potato if I took a few hiatuses here & there from the gym.  Between walking several miles everyday, and taking endless steps into subway stations and stairways up and down all day from where I worked I felt great & in shape and knew it was the perfect supplement for the gym. For me, I enjoy walking so much and I walk very fast & sometimes on my down time when I am just enjoying and exploring the city like I have mentioned in my previous posts, it gets me thinking and I generate new ideas.  I had no idea that from this personal experience there was an article that validated everything I have just mentioned in a nutshell.  This is the article and I encourage all of you to read it so everyone else could know how including walking into your daily routine does wonders for you & you do not have to feel guilty if you miss going to the gym: http://www.prevention.com/fitness/benefits-walking-every-day?utm_source=GOOGLE_PLUS_PAGE&utm_medium=Social&utm_term=652198528&utm_campaign=Prevention  
I want to start spreading the word so everyone else can be informed of this.  Normally, most studies are either bogus, and/or studies that are published by different authors regarding the same topics 9 times out of 10 contradict each other, but in this case I know that it is true since I exemplify everything written in this article. I'm sorry if I sound cynical, but it is true. So please, click on the link and take a look! 

Priceless Gifts

Happy Friday!!!!

This morning I would like you to be reminded of priceless gifts that money cannot buy:

1. Health 

2. Love 

3. Happiness 

I do not think most people, especially the workaholics that live here in NYC realize that no amount of financial success can buy you either of these three gifts. the old cliche, "money can't buy you love," a.k.a. The Beatles song is true: There are people that I know personally and generally speaking who are financially secure all the way to the point of more than enough $ to last them a lifetime, but yet they are empty and feel a void in their heart that money cannot fill. There is a reason for that. The reason being is that we are human beings and we crave love and support from people such as family, friends, romantic partners, pets and so on which in turn makes us feel happy. We are not machines working in a factory or the Tin Man who is missing his heart. Last but not least is our health.  This to me is the #1 HUGE gift money can never buy. If you do not feel healthy, even as little as having no energy to get out of bed and feeling good, then you cannot live any kind of life, never mind a fulfilling one. I do not only mean physical but also mental.  Your mental state of being encompasses your whole core inside & out.  I just want to remind you in case you have fallen off the path and take all of this for granted!  

XOXO




Dara 

Recharging your "batteries"

Have you ever felt like you can relate to being compared to an inanimate object such as a cell phone when it is so low on battery that if it does not get hooked to a charger it will immediately shut off? I think all of us can relate to it. Well, that is how I have been feeling for the past couple of months.  I have not just felt tired like I needed sleep, but so depleted of energy that I physically felt like a shell of myself. Prior to this, I have always been so abundant with energy which I am grateful for: I wake up every morning looking forward to starting my day and walking outside as well as going to the gym. I feel like sharing this with you because it is important to take care of your mental state of being.  Your mental state governs your physical state as well.  This is hard to keep in check when you feel stressed and run down like I have the past several weeks.  I have felt so drained that I was not able to go to the gym and take all of the fitness classes I always have attended several days a week. Going to the gym for me is beyond filling a physical need, it also satiates my mind and gives me clarity; almost like a therapy session. It is true when they say you feel the endorphin rush.  Well, I want to end this blog entry on a positive note: After taking care of my personal needs that contributed to my run down state, I now feel rejuvenated and ready to take on the world! I think positive every day and feel grateful for my state of health.  Health is wealth. You are nothing without your health.
I strongly advise people who do not exercise to start! Exercise is so important for a million different reasons. I know might be hard in the beginning to get into a routine, but after a while it becomes second nature and your life will change for you physically and mentally.  Not only does it do wonders for you physically and keep you well, but mentally it gives you a peace of mind and clarity I cannot even begin to describe. 



                         All ready to reunite with the gym!!! 

Reflection of a Teacher

I have had the pleasure today of teaching grades 2nd through 4th on a lesson based on earth science.  This allowed me to incorporate my ELA skills and science all in one.  I went to different classrooms through out the day and the teacher left me instructions to read them a chapter in their science text book about plants and animals.  More specifically, the text read like a textbook and ELA type story all in one. They learned about photosynthesis, decomposers, the life cycle and so on.  I had the students sit at the carpet and take down notes as I was reading it.  Along the way the key words were highlighted in the text and I would stop to ask them to put it in their own words what each highlighted word meant and then I would write the definition on the board. I thought this particular lesson today was very unique and I enjoyed it a great deal. 


I had to stop and take a picture today of this beautiful mural that the students created. It reminds me of an exhibit you would see at a museum, I was awestruck at how creative elementary students can be. These pictures of me also represent my love for reading. 

Electrommunication??

 

Communication used to be much easier but due to the 21st century and the new era of texting and e-mails, conveying one's true meaning is not so easy these days.  There is a major roadblock because a lot of people find it convenient and do not want to be bothered with the "old school" way of communicating i.e. calling on the phone! However, due to this lazy approach of speaking we are hurting ourselves because it is very hard if not impossible to understand the meaning behind a typed word v.s. hearing someone audibly. This is a new phenomenon and happens everyday in regards to work, friends, family and so forth.  How could you possibly know what the person really means through a typed sentence? Without hearing their tone of voice or easily explaining what they mean, it is no wonder that there is so much confusion that leads to major arguments and falling outs.  This is unnecessary and could be easily prevented if more people understood this.   I once went out on a date with a guy that told me that he only communicated through texting and never on the phone with one of his former girlfriends! That sounds inconceivable to me!!!

Technology is not 100% fool proof just like everything else in life and not every phone call, voicemail, and even e-mail gets sent even if you think it did. This one particular incident happened to me with one of my oldest friends: We had this trivial and ridiculous argument about making plans for a group of us to go to the beach. He was gathering a large group of people and he told me that I would have to meet him there because his car was too small to fit everyone, But after he rejected my offer of driving everyone because I drove a large SUV,  I misinterpreted that as him implying that he did not really want me to go.  First it started through texting and then eventually led to e-mails being sent back and forth about how we both thought we were good friends and couldn't imagine how we didn't think of each other in that way.  He told me that he always tries to be the best friend he possibly can and he cares, and I was defending myself and saying the same thing but I didn't think I was being treated fairly (all because of a dumb argument of going to the beach.) At the time I was mad at the principle behind this obtuse argument. I thought he really did not want me to go hence why he told me I would have to meet him there. After I sent my last e-mail expressing how I felt, I never got one in return.  I found that very odd because I have known this very good friend of mine most of my life and knew it was not like him to ignore me.  He is one of the few people you will meet in life that cares so much about his friends and will always make sure to respond even if the argument could get ugly. He doesn't even hit below the belt and he will admit when he is wrong.  Needless to say, I was very surprised that he never e-mailed me back.  I let it go because I was the one that was upset in the first place and he just decided to ignore my response.  Well, a few years passed by and I thought of him and realized that that argument was so ridiculous and how could I not try to get back in touch with him and say hi? My mom had run into him a few years prior and told me that he had told her that the "ball was in my court." I was on vacation at the time and I told my mom I don't understand how that is possible since he never responded back to my e-mail! Well, as luck would have it I reached out to him years later and it turns out, via phone conversation that he had e-mailed me back and I never got it! He even looked back in his sent emails from years ago and read the e-mail verbatim! I could not believe it. I told him that I never received anything and we both agreed that this never would've happened if this "argument" was said over the phone or in person.  That is just one example of a million others that always happens through electronic communication.  Unfortunately, most people prefer to still incessantly text and do not feel the way I do. I find it easier just to pick up the phone  v.s. texting. It is so much quicker to communicate orally v.s. having to text, especially when you are busy walking or driving. This poses a lot of obstacles in every facet of life but I do not find in my personal experience (s) many people agree with me, especially when it comes to dating. I find incessant texting when you are dating especially challenging and annoying:   

What happened to guys that you date calling you on the phone instead of resorting to texting? It takes out the romance & instead replaces it with mixed messages & miscommunication. I'm sorry fellas, but incessant text messages filled with verbose words & emojis is impersonal & has no feeling/meaning. That could never compare to hearing the guy's voice and his emotions audibly. 
I can't believe I'm saying this, but when I date a guy who actually uses the phone most of the time, I consider that a plus in my book! Sad, I know which is mostly due to technology. 
Well, as I always say, there's plus and minuses to everything.  

Energy is everything

Everything is energy and we are energy. I don't think many people know how energy plays a major role, if not the whole role in everything around us: the planet, air we breathe, trees, plants, animals, people and a million other things. This whole universe and everything around us is built on energy. We as human beings are in control of our life and we are subconsciously responsible for how our circumstances and events play out in our current situation/life. I never knew deep down how energy, vibes and thoughts are so powerful until I scratched beneath the surface and found out. After all of these years of many different friends I have and had made along the way as well as feeling the vibes of my surroundings, I now know vibes is the most powerful force you can't deny and the universe is responding to your thoughts and actions, not the other way around. As soon as I relocated out of the suburbs into NYC, the energy was impalpable: NYC life is so energetic and I feel such a positive and upbeat vibe. Everyone is out all hours of the day/night, people are much friendlier, all I have to do is just look outside or walk around outside and I could feel the never ending electricity! It is amazing! I now realize this after spending most of my life in the suburbs: There was zero energy, it's very dull and it puts you in a non-energetic/dispiriting mood and way of being. 

"Your vibe attracts your tribe." I heard this saying recently after reading on this topic, and now it makes complete sense to me! Everyone around you gives off vibes, it is the very first thing they present to you when you are around them, it is undeniable; like I said this whole universe consists of energy and vibes. I now fully understand how I got involved in relationships platonic or otherwise that were so unhealthy for me! It is almost as if I am staring into the mirror and seeing my reflection in front of me: Those were the vibes I was sending out into the universe and as a result of this, it attracted negative, ungrateful, hateful people to me.  I feel like it is as if I went fishing and I caught the most sour and nasty of all fish in the sea! Needless to say, the light bulb in my head (my epiphany) went off and shouted in a bright yellow light: "Dara, you are also ungrateful, miserable, spiteful and full of anger!" 

My proverbial yellow light flashed when I reached my later 20's. I took a step back and did inventory on all of the people I befriended and had any kind of relationship with (mostly friendships,) which subsequently led to a very scary, frightening, sickening & very bitter ending with these group of homely "women" that I met towards the end of my 20's. I was overweight at the time, I was very unhappy and did not feel much to any gratitude as to what I had in my life. Honestly, I did not really know what gratitude really meant besides the fact that you say thank you when people hold doors for you and buy you things (presents, take you out to restaurants, etc..)  Of course I was grateful for the love & support of my family but not in the full sense of the word. I was still harboring a lot of negativity and resentment for both my parents and everything else that transpired in my life.  As previously stated, at that point in my life I had no idea what gratitude really meant until I woke up and smelled the coffee (literally & figuratively!) Studying the ancient practice of gratitude subsequently led to my great awakening.  

After my great awakening, I now realize that my vibes were never set right, but were in the complete WRONG DIRECTION at the time I was battling my weight issues: The group of homely, morose women I was referring to were also unkempt and corpulent who came from over privileged backgrounds. Two of which were sisters, and the others were mutual friends.  These two sisters I was the closest to and the ones who play the catalysts in my awakening. They were very surly & envious of each other and every one around them, they were also very big instigators and took great joy in making other people's lives miserable. Needless to say, these two had a very toxic relationship from childhood. The younger sister was the one that was my supposed "best friend."   I met her older sister first and she was the one who introduced me to her. In hindsight, I should've realized that what resulted 2.5 years later was right in front of my face: She said very mean things about her friends & even her other best friend behind her back, she even bluntly requested me not to be her sister's friend anymore.  She said the most sweetest and uplifting things to me all the time and I spoke to her nearly every day on the phone, we would say we were sisters, and when she met her future husband she even asked me to be one of her bridesmaids.  This might sound like a normal situation for a future bride-to-be to ask of one of her best friends, but remember I am not reflecting on a normal and healthy friendship, the events that took place afterwards was of course highly dysfunctional. She emphasized to me repeatedly that she wished I could have been her maid of honor, because like always, she was fighting constantly over her "wedding planning" with her sister and mother. Why she couldn't tell her sister she can't stand her and have me be her maid of honor the way she expressed to me on the phone, we'll never know.  They were very vital issues such as what kind of gifts her guests at her bridal shower should receive.  Should they receive cute, little key chains,  compact mirrors, picture frames, or soap? "My sister lied to my friend and told her that I wanted it to be Jordan Almonds! I never said that! She's always causing trouble for me!" As luck would have it, guess what? Her bridal shower gift was...you guessed it!.... JORDAN ALMONDS!!! Surprise!  This is just one example of a MILLION others of  what I tortured myself  being involved in for 2.5 years! 

Everything came to a head a year after her wedding. I finally couldn't take those nasty comments she made about others  including little children of people her or I knew on Facebook. After I expressed this to her on the phone in a very angry manner, she spewed out the most nasty, demeaning, hateful comments anyone, not only a "best friend" had ever made to me.  I knew all that garbage she said to me wasn't the first time, it was just the first time she said it to my face.  I should have blocked her number after that, but instead, I let her drag me down to her deep, dark, sadistic and heinous mind. It became a full on war between nasty text messages back and forth. We even harassed each other via email with words I do not want to repeat or imagine someone could wish for me, never mind a "best friend." I felt possessed, and in response to those emails, I became a monster like her. I now regret going down to her level and letting her turn me into a horrible human being that I am not. If I could go back in time, I would have just blocked her number right away and moved on. I never said things like that to anyone before until I met this monster. I now know what an idiot I was for staying involved in this family for so long. Of course, if she was talking behind her friends' backs of people she knew years longer than me, then she was obviously just as brutal about what she had to say behind my back.  Even after I repeatedly begged her not to get me involved in her family issues, she would not stop.  She kept bothering me as if I were another relative of hers. Now I laugh to myself about this! Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, it all comes together: I was a mess, disheveled and overweight just like them! No wonder that was the vibe I sent out and the people that responded to it! This is a paramount example of the message to you that I feel so strongly to convey in this blog entry.  

As of recently, I felt I had to clean out my closet so to speak, I like to call it "spring cleaning."  What I mean is, I realized that the people I was immersing myself with were  also a big ball of negative energy, the way a vacuum cleaner sucks the crumbs off of a carpet.  I like to call them "energy depleters" or "energy suckers."  Almost as if these other friends were suffocating the life out of me.  It is not because they are bad people or mean, it is because they are very unhappy and miserable in their life.  One woman stands out in my mind the most, because I know she is a nice person and I really liked her up until the point I couldn't take her negativity anymore.  Every time I would speak to her, it was as if she was slowly stabbing me to death.  She repeatedly expressed to me how unhappy she is that she still hasn't met her soulmate and probably never will. She has a very opulent and luxurious lifestyle mostly due to her father who was a doctor. Her father left her with such a comfortable lifestyle that affords her and her mother the luxury to travel all around the world going on cruises and jet setting to countries such as Europe. Her mother also has a timeshare in Florida where she also lives in and she is free to fly back and forth from New York to a posh life in Miami Beach whenever she is getting "tired" of living in New York. She doesn't express all of this to me in a snobby, entitled way of course, instead she tells me all of this in a depressed manner not even realizing how grateful she should feel to have such luxury in her life that the average person does not possess: She doesn't have to worry about finances (understatement of the century) or any debilitating health issues. If she was grateful then she would not be so unhappy and constantly complain. I met her through mutual friends who also have the same vibe as her and come from similar opulent, over privileged backgrounds in NYC. The families of the friend's I am referring to are doctors, bankers and some of them grew up in the Jersey Shore and Madison Avenue. Their parents did not give them much to worry about monetarily speaking (another understatement.) They still overly provide for them even after being a 30 something year old adult, most of which many people do not ever receive even as children. Their wealthy parents offer them a never ending life of accommodation & splendor, some of which consist of  living in a spacious, one bedroom apartment in a luxury building located in Stuyvesant Town and provide for them much more than what their salaries allow them to survive in NYC.  They live in a bubble and don't even realize this! That is how far lost in space they are! 

 Initially, I was flattered that they let me join them in their "circle" of friends until I finally snapped out of it a few years later after I realized it was not much of a compliment!!!  These group of people I hung out with and run into, I now realize might be nice in the beginning, but they are very strange, peculiar, flaky, negative, exhibit major social issues and much more if you scratch beneath the surface. They are also very negative and take their negativity out on me when they are in a bad mood. 

I still laugh to myself because I occasionally run into these people at parties in the city. As of recently, I saw them at a party along with another anti-social & odd friend that updated me with his plans of applying to universities to obtain a PHD while living in a college dormitory at 33 years old! They were all surrounding me as a reminder of the bad energy that followed me in the past! It was all in front of my face and I finally saw them for what they really are! Since I became more attuned with the vibes around me, their energy was impalpable.  "Dara finally snapped out of it! Hooray :)"  (Speaking in the third person.)

 No one should be friends with anyone that doesn't serve them. I feel much better now that I severed ties with them. Although like I had said, they were nice to me and tried to be a good friend at the time.  However, for my own peace of mind and desire to live a very happy life, I need to move on and work on myself in order to attract happy, grateful people that I now strive to be like. I feel the utmost level of gratitude that I incorporate in my everyday life and as a result, the world around me is already changing for the better! 

  I am not writing this entry in a malicious way, it is to serve as a reflection of my own self. After this recent realization, I am very attuned to the energy I am sending out to the universe: I got rid of the negative energy around me and along with gratitude, I think of my life in a  positive, happy way. I am now subconsciously doing my best to send out positive vibes to receive that in return. In order to meet the people, romantic partners, friends and the like that you desire to attract, you have to first act like that yourself. 

 I have such a heightened intuition now that it feels more like a sixth sense. I now walk into a room and sense everyone's vibes and I feel their feelings permeating around me. I go to these classy lounges and I see these wealthy, successful, white collar professionals mostly in the financial sector (bankers, analysts, etc...) looking fresh and glowing; they're wearing these beautiful suits, mostly blazers, white buttoned down shirts and they finish it off with pants and fancy shoes (there must've been a memo passed around here in NYC to all the finance guys to dress in this attire.)  It's a beautiful look, what woman or should I say, anyone would not be impressed with this "financial uniform?!" I notice now that the pocket scarf is a newly added accessory to this look! Unless I never noticed it before!   

However,  I could sense that all of this is all smoke & mirrors.  One experience in particular where I had the pleasure of meeting one of these types of men that I am describing above stands out in my mind:   

 I met this one investment banker at a social function on a rooftop in Turtle Bay. As soon as I noticed him and we locked eyes with each other, I was immediately impressed with how he looked: He was so fresh, he looked rested, in a beautifully polished suit & tie, holding a glass of Pinot Noir. He did not look like he just finished slaving  hours that day at a bank. We then proceeded to introduce ourselves which led to him asking me out for a drink followed by him handing me his business card. We also exchanged numbers. As soon as I looked at his business card, I couldn't help but think to myself, "who wouldn't be impressed?!"  So, like most people these days tend to do thanks to the internet, I go online and look up the bank he works at and I see his biography along with his picture. Listed below are all of his major accomplishments: his degree he received, his financial certifications and the high position that he possesses that obviously took many years of climbing the corporate ladder to reach.  His first photo shows him looking all spiffy in a suit, tie and even adds a scarf to complete this idyllic image of the charmed life that many arduous years of ambition provides for a yuppie. In another professional picture of his, he is sitting at his desk that appears to be a selfie smoking a cigar! Wow! As an outsider looking in, he looks very content and happy with himself.

If I never met him in person first I wouldn't of had any idea that this guy appeared to have any stress and hardship to attain this level of financial success.  We never did re-connect after that and I've seen him several times since. The last time I ran into him was in the winter time at a sports bar. I could feel his unhappiness permeating the room. His vibes did not match up with his shiny exterior. I was very happy to see him and I said hi, but I no longer got that same reaction in return: He was no longer friendly towards me. He gave me a brief hug which felt more out of obligation along with acting stoic towards me and that was where it ended.  Later on, I saw him sitting at the booth next to me with a group of people, and I as I saw him pass me by to buy his friends drinks, his gloomy, stressed vibes were still present. Don't judge a book by its cover, a person's physical appearance and social media could all be just a front. All that glitters isn't gold. 

 This is another pivotal moment I reached in my life that I am forever grateful for. I am now acutely aware of people's vibes  and listen to my intuition.   Vibes THEN actions speak louder than words!!!

Uncomfortable comfort zones

Do you ever think about comfort zones and re-evaluate yourself and how you live your life? Meaning, do you find that everything you do from the little things to the big things, whether it is changing jobs, ending unhealthy/toxic relationships, moving to a new area/residence is something you avoid like the plague? Or are you very open to change and thrive on it? I am one of the people out there that get bored very easily; from changing my nail polish color to getting bored of eating the same food constantly. I always have to change everything around me, including where I live.   I know people that can't stand change and feel so comfortable with everything around them even if it is not serving them. I find using the word "comfort" next to zone is very short lived. Initially, it might feel good to feel comfortable in the beginning.  When you think of the word "comfortable" you think happy thoughts of rest & relaxation which in essence, is why people get stuck in this zone.  You are used to things being done the same way, situations being the same, people acting the same, etc...However, if you get too stuck you are missing out on opportunities and not being aware of how much better you could improve your life. Comfort zones are inevitably going to change anyway because life changes constantly whether you like it or not.  So if you do not change things in your life for the better, life (circumstances, events, people) will change it for you.   People who are stuck in comfort zones are not attuned to future opportunities and events that could change their life for the better. 

Unchanged change

I remember seeing this film when I was a teenager in the movies.  The quote when Gwyneth Paltrow says"we are who we are, people don't change" always resonated with me all these years later even though I never cared for this film. I strongly believe that a person's true nature and character is innate and cannot be changed. People may grow up and mature and realize looking back that they needed to change their ways, but I strongly disagree that a whole person's being could truly change.  I even notice it with myself.  I have been very attuned with how I treat other people, react and feel in certain situations and in general, and I know I have not changed either.  In retrospect, I know I have grown up immensely and matured since, but who I am as a human being is exactly the same.   Everyone's journey is different as far as growth goes.   

Even after reuniting and/or speaking with friends from my past I always find it amazing how they're personality is exactly the same! It's almost as if we were frozen in time and it was just yesterday when I met them! 

One door closes and another opens

I have had such a fabulous week so far teaching & coming up with new ideas for my writing. I love to teach students about ELA. Today, I taught a 3rd grade class about personification. I love to give lessons on the current season & holiday because I find it the most interesting and it really piques the students' interest. Today I read them a personified poem about autumn.  They have not been taught that yet and I was very excited to teach them all about what it entails.  I got to use my artistic skills and try to draw as well ;0) Hey, I like how my pumpkins turned out!!!

So many ideas for my writing....I love to be surrounded by books!!

NEW YORK CITY BLISS

After my whole life of being a Native New Yorker, I now finally realize why I was born in the city and raised outside of it:  I LOVE NYC! I am a total New York City girl, there was a reason why I was born on the Upper East Side & never ventured further ever since :) I could stroll the streets of the city all day & night and just marvel at the gorgeous skyscrapers, parks, churches, stores, etc........Last night was perfect.  I call it a "Misty Monday" evening.  Midtown East is one of my favorite areas to get lost in! 

It was nice & cool outside. Instead of actual down pouring of rain, it was this light mistiness that felt so refreshing! Almost like you were spraying your face with a Squeeze Breeze bottle. Do any of you remember that growing up? It was a water bottle with a little makeshift fan on top that you could spray water & the fan at the same time? I remember having one as a child when I went to camp. 

I am loving what I see now! Fall is definitely here! Beanies, jackets with faux fur, leather (pleather,) knee length boots! Bring it ;) I think that the fashion for the cold weather is so picturesque, especially white. White jackets and the like bring out the beauty of the snow. 

The image of NYC is that people think it is fast paced and people are in a hurry to get to places. I exemplify this statement. No one walks faster than me! I have three speeds: fast, faster, fastest. I find that most people walk slow though, so I have no idea how this idea came into place! New York City is not for everyone, I'll admit that. The Subway (MTA) is a whole new world. For someone coming from another planet such as a small mid western state from a small town on a farm, I would not be surprised if they experience shell shock. I have friends who grew up not too far from here and they have phobias of crowds & how busy it is here (to put it mildly.) 

I love the fact that I DO NOT need a car! As a matter of fact, it is so unnecessary that to have a car that it would be more of an obligation (kind of like a acrimonious marriage.) Parking is non existent, the traffic is a nightmare, and with all of the mass transit such as subways, buses, cabs, walking, etc....what is the reason? It never ceases to amaze me when some people act surprised when I tell them that I do not have  a car, especially when they are originally from here as well.

I feel like Midtown East is the location of my second home a.k.a. Grand Central Station. Growing up in Westchester County, I have always commuted via train from Grand Central Station. I had the pleasure of  this grandiose, historical, beautifully colossal sized building being the first thing I saw in the morning to the last thing I would see coming home. I still venture in and around Grand Central and could never grow tired of marveling at how ornate and spectacular this train station truly is. I don't think calling it, "Grand Central Terminal" or "Grand Central Train Station" does it any justice. It is more like the Buckingham Palace of New York City. It feels like you're walking in a never ending museum with marble floors, stairways and the like. When you look all the way up to the infinitely high ceiling in the center of the station you see all the constellations of the sky and it is truly a great imitation of the actual sky. There are never ending boutiques/marketplaces, restaurants, etc. all around you and in what seems like hidden tunnels. One of the most famous landmarks is home there, too: Oyster Bar, which is is the major part of what makes Grand Central so historical.

 I have been so fortunate to have grown up taking Metro North and having this wonderland be my home away from home. Every time I am there I imagine what it must feel like for all the tourists from all walks of life scattered around me think when they take pictures & selfies to capture the moment of seeing such a dazzling, historical piece of history that helped make NYC what it is today. Weddings even take place there with photographers circling around the bride & groom while they express their commitment of their never ending love for everyone inside this "station" to see.

I can't help but think of the antithesis of what I just described, which is Penn Station in Midtown West. People that commute via train that are from Long Island and New Jersey I always feel bad for. If you ever been to Penn Station as well as Grand Central, you would know exactly what I am talking about. I compare it to the nine circles of hell from Dante's Inferno by Dante Aligierii.  Dante's Inferno is a 14th Century religious allegory which takes place in Italy and was originally written in Italian. A person venturing from Midtown West where Penn Station is located all the way to Midtown East where Grand Central Station is could feel the way Dante did in his book when he got lost in the forest and attempted to climb up the mountain where the sun was shining on it, but as he was climbing it he was blocked by three beasts. As Dante attempts to turn around to resume back to the darkened woods he is greeted by the ghost of Virgil who is the great Roman poet and comes to Dante's rescue. He tells Dante he will help him get back on his path to the top of the mountain but the hitch is that they are going to go through hell to eventually get to heaven. Needless to say, Penn Station is the opening gates of hell and Grand Central is the opening gates of heaven!!! 

I'm the Taylor Swift of Blogging (Minus the eating disorder & chastity belt)

Rainy days and Monday's always get me UP!!!

I know it's been a few days to about a week maybe since I last blogged?! I honestly don't recall because I am living in the moment. 

I have been very busy with my career & attending to various personal engagements. Since the inception of this blog my thoughts have been all over the place, hence why I have written about eclectic subjects.  

For the start of this week, the wheels are turning in my head to write about my current personal experiences a.k.a. ridiculous situations that I just laugh off because I am always laughing at myself! I am enjoying this so far because it is generating my mind to write in a comical, witty somewhat humorous way that I call my life!!! All the credit goes to the universe for responding to my vibes!  So stay tuned...

I am enjoying my day off relaxing with my delicious XL iced coffee! It's the little things to appreciate in life and be grateful for, just to enjoy my much needed dose of java and recharge my batteries might seem to be little things, but in actuality they are BIG things and a blessing! 

Happy Monday!

My Best Mistakes

For as long as I can remember I regretted decisions I made in my earlier life. Then as the years passed, it became a laundry list. All different mistakes I knew I made and regretted.  As I grew older to my adulthood up until recently, I beat myself up over it because I thought at this time I would have accomplished much more in life if I chose a different route instead of the one I ended up choosing. Psychologists say it is not a good idea to ruminate but I couldn't help it; I am very analytical, psychological & could even lead a Over Thinkers Anonymous Group!  It got worse over the past year because a lot of issues arose in my life, and I couldn't help but think to myself if I did not ruin my chances with that person, or went down a different road with a career, I would not be faced with all these dilemmas I am in now. In essence, I was verbally abusing myself. I am my own worst enemy. Looking back in retrospect, I realized that every situation I was faced with regarding my boss, friends, places I chose to live & live with, and even  people I dated was my own fault.  I grew so angry & furious and placed the blame on them and the situation I was in that I finally realized that everything is my fault! No one forced me or even asked me to work at my last job, make the decision to move in to that apartment with soulless roommates or tell me to be friends and surround myself with the circle I was in, or even allow myself to be treated poorly by the guys I have dated in my past. After realizing this, I felt better knowing that since it was all my fault and my decision that the anger I originally had felt & how annoyed I was began to diminish. I have no one to blame but myself. There are many people that do not realize this, they place blame on others and get so mad that they are treated unfairly like I used to think, when in reality your current situation is the result of your actions, decisions & choices you have made in in your life. 

After coming to terms with that realization, it made me think of what the reason for mistakes are. Why do we make them? It took me a while to come up with an answer until it finally dawned on me that if we do not make mistakes in life, how else are we supposed to learn?  It is similar to trying to learn a new skill and struggling to master it, until you practiced so much that you finally learned how to perfect it! That is what mistakes serve as. We make mistakes in life in order to make the right choices when we are presented with them. When we are confronted with the same situation that we knew we shouldn't of made, we know not to do it again: 

The is one of my favorite quotes written by Paulo Coelho. It couldn't of been said better if anyone tried. I have finally let go of my regrets and mistakes I have made.  I have finally reached peace and happiness after discovering the true meaning of mistakes.  I know there will be new opportunities and other doors that will open.  I think that if something did not work out, it was just not meant to be. Things that are meant to be in life will somehow find its way to you. I am looking forward to what the future holds and I have now learned how to make peace with my past.  I have turned my regrets into a positive light by learning all of those lesson & not to repeat those mistakes again. It is a very serene, tranquil feeling that I finally reached and I hope other people (could) feel the same way I do. One door closes and another opens.