Saturday, October 22, 2016

Electrommunication??

 

Communication used to be much easier but due to the 21st century and the new era of texting and e-mails, conveying one's true meaning is not so easy these days.  There is a major roadblock because a lot of people find it convenient and do not want to be bothered with the "old school" way of communicating i.e. calling on the phone! However, due to this lazy approach of speaking we are hurting ourselves because it is very hard if not impossible to understand the meaning behind a typed word v.s. hearing someone audibly. This is a new phenomenon and happens everyday in regards to work, friends, family and so forth.  How could you possibly know what the person really means through a typed sentence? Without hearing their tone of voice or easily explaining what they mean, it is no wonder that there is so much confusion that leads to major arguments and falling outs.  This is unnecessary and could be easily prevented if more people understood this.   I once went out on a date with a guy that told me that he only communicated through texting and never on the phone with one of his former girlfriends! That sounds inconceivable to me!!!
Technology is not 100% fool proof just like everything else in life and not every phone call, voicemail, and even e-mail gets sent even if you think it did. This one particular incident happened to me with one of my oldest friends: We had this trivial and ridiculous argument about making plans for a group of us to go to the beach. He was gathering a large group of people and he told me that I would have to meet him there because his car was too small to fit everyone, But after he rejected my offer of driving everyone because I drove a large SUV,  I misinterpreted that as him implying that he did not really want me to go.  First it started through texting and then eventually led to e-mails being sent back and forth about how we both thought we were good friends and couldn't imagine how we didn't think of each other in that way.  He told me that he always tries to be the best friend he possibly can and he cares, and I was defending myself and saying the same thing but I didn't think I was being treated fairly (all because of a dumb argument of going to the beach.) At the time I was mad at the principle behind this obtuse argument. I thought he really did not want me to go hence why he told me I would have to meet him there. After I sent my last e-mail expressing how I felt, I never got one in return.  I found that very odd because I have known this very good friend of mine most of my life and knew it was not like him to ignore me.  He is one of the few people you will meet in life that cares so much about his friends and will always make sure to respond even if the argument could get ugly. He doesn't even hit below the belt and he will admit when he is wrong.  Needless to say, I was very surprised that he never e-mailed me back.  I let it go because I was the one that was upset in the first place and he just decided to ignore my response.  Well, a few years passed by and I thought of him and realized that that argument was so ridiculous and how could I not try to get back in touch with him and say hi? My mom had run into him a few years prior and told me that he had told her that the "ball was in my court." I was on vacation at the time and I told my mom I don't understand how that is possible since he never responded back to my e-mail! Well, as luck would have it I reached out to him years later and it turns out, via phone conversation that he had e-mailed me back and I never got it! He even looked back in his sent emails from years ago and read the e-mail verbatim! I could not believe it. I told him that I never received anything and we both agreed that this never would've happened if this "argument" was said over the phone or in person.  That is just one example of a million others that always happens through electronic communication.  Unfortunately, most people prefer to still incessantly text and do not feel the way I do. I find it easier just to pick up the phone  v.s. texting. It is so much quicker to communicate orally v.s. having to text, especially when you are busy walking or driving. This poses a lot of obstacles in every facet of life but I do not find in my personal experience (s) many people agree with me, especially when it comes to dating. I find incessant texting when you are dating especially challenging and annoying:   
What happened to guys that you date calling you on the phone instead of resorting to texting? It takes out the romance & instead replaces it with mixed messages & miscommunication. I'm sorry fellas, but incessant text messages filled with verbose words & emojis is impersonal & has no feeling/meaning. That could never compare to hearing the guy's voice and his emotions audibly. 
I can't believe I'm saying this, but when I date a guy who actually uses the phone most of the time, I consider that a plus in my book! Sad, I know which is mostly due to technology. 
Well, as I always say, there's plus and minuses to everything.  


Saturday, October 15, 2016

Energy is everything


Everything is energy and we are energy. I don't think many people know how energy plays a major role, if not the whole role in everything around us: the planet, air we breathe, trees, plants, animals, people and a million other things. This whole universe and everything around us is built on energy. We as human beings are in control of our life and we are subconsciously responsible for how our circumstances and events play out in our current situation/life. I never knew deep down how energy, vibes and thoughts are so powerful until I scratched beneath the surface and found out. After all of these years of many different friends I have and had made along the way as well as feeling the vibes of my surroundings, I now know vibes is the most powerful force you can't deny and the universe is responding to your thoughts and actions, not the other way around. As soon as I relocated out of the suburbs into NYC, the energy was impalpable: NYC life is so energetic and I feel such a positive and upbeat vibe. Everyone is out all hours of the day/night, people are much friendlier, all I have to do is just look outside or walk around outside and I could feel the never ending electricity! It is amazing! I now realize this after spending most of my life in the suburbs: There was zero energy, it's very dull and it puts you in a non-energetic/dispiriting mood and way of being. 
"Your vibe attracts your tribe." I heard this saying recently after reading on this topic, and now it makes complete sense to me! Everyone around you gives off vibes, it is the very first thing they present to you when you are around them, it is undeniable; like I said this whole universe consists of energy and vibes. I now fully understand how I got involved in relationships platonic or otherwise that were so unhealthy for me! It is almost as if I am staring into the mirror and seeing my reflection in front of me: Those were the vibes I was sending out into the universe and as a result of this, it attracted negative, ungrateful, hateful people to me.  I feel like it is as if I went fishing and I caught the most sour and nasty of all fish in the sea! Needless to say, the light bulb in my head (my epiphany) went off and shouted in a bright yellow light: "Dara, you are also ungrateful, miserable, spiteful and full of anger!" 
My proverbial yellow light flashed when I reached my later 20's. I took a step back and did inventory on all of the people I befriended and had any kind of relationship with (mostly friendships,) which subsequently led to a very scary, frightening, sickening & very bitter ending with these group of homely "women" that I met towards the end of my 20's. I was overweight at the time, I was very unhappy and did not feel much to any gratitude as to what I had in my life. Honestly, I did not really know what gratitude really meant besides the fact that you say thank you when people hold doors for you and buy you things (presents, take you out to restaurants, etc..)  Of course I was grateful for the love & support of my family but not in the full sense of the word. I was still harboring a lot of negativity and resentment for both my parents and everything else that transpired in my life.  As previously stated, at that point in my life I had no idea what gratitude really meant until I woke up and smelled the coffee (literally & figuratively!) Studying the ancient practice of gratitude subsequently led to my great awakening.  
After my great awakening, I now realize that my vibes were never set right, but were in the complete WRONG DIRECTION at the time I was battling my weight issues: The group of homely, morose women I was referring to were also unkempt and corpulent who came from over privileged backgrounds. Two of which were sisters, and the others were mutual friends.  These two sisters I was the closest to and the ones who play the catalysts in my awakening. They were very surly & envious of each other and every one around them, they were also very big instigators and took great joy in making other people's lives miserable. Needless to say, these two had a very toxic relationship from childhood. The younger sister was the one that was my supposed "best friend."   I met her older sister first and she was the one who introduced me to her. In hindsight, I should've realized that what resulted 2.5 years later was right in front of my face: She said very mean things about her friends & even her other best friend behind her back, she even bluntly requested me not to be her sister's friend anymore.  She said the most sweetest and uplifting things to me all the time and I spoke to her nearly every day on the phone, we would say we were sisters, and when she met her future husband she even asked me to be one of her bridesmaids.  This might sound like a normal situation for a future bride-to-be to ask of one of her best friends, but remember I am not reflecting on a normal and healthy friendship, the events that took place afterwards was of course highly dysfunctional. She emphasized to me repeatedly that she wished I could have been her maid of honor, because like always, she was fighting constantly over her "wedding planning" with her sister and mother. Why she couldn't tell her sister she can't stand her and have me be her maid of honor the way she expressed to me on the phone, we'll never know.  They were very vital issues such as what kind of gifts her guests at her bridal shower should receive.  Should they receive cute, little key chains,  compact mirrors, picture frames, or soap? "My sister lied to my friend and told her that I wanted it to be Jordan Almonds! I never said that! She's always causing trouble for me!" As luck would have it, guess what? Her bridal shower gift was...you guessed it!.... JORDAN ALMONDS!!! Surprise!  This is just one example of a MILLION others of  what I tortured myself  being involved in for 2.5 years! 

Everything came to a head a year after her wedding. I finally couldn't take those nasty comments she made about others  including little children of people her or I knew on Facebook. After I expressed this to her on the phone in a very angry manner, she spewed out the most nasty, demeaning, hateful comments anyone, not only a "best friend" had ever made to me.  I knew all that garbage she said to me wasn't the first time, it was just the first time she said it to my face.  I should have blocked her number after that, but instead, I let her drag me down to her deep, dark, sadistic and heinous mind. It became a full on war between nasty text messages back and forth. We even harassed each other via email with words I do not want to repeat or imagine someone could wish for me, never mind a "best friend." I felt possessed, and in response to those emails, I became a monster like her. I now regret going down to her level and letting her turn me into a horrible human being that I am not. If I could go back in time, I would have just blocked her number right away and moved on. I never said things like that to anyone before until I met this monster. I now know what an idiot I was for staying involved in this family for so long. Of course, if she was talking behind her friends' backs of people she knew years longer than me, then she was obviously just as brutal about what she had to say behind my back.  Even after I repeatedly begged her not to get me involved in her family issues, she would not stop.  She kept bothering me as if I were another relative of hers. Now I laugh to myself about this! Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, it all comes together: I was a mess, disheveled and overweight just like them! No wonder that was the vibe I sent out and the people that responded to it! This is a paramount example of the message to you that I feel so strongly to convey in this blog entry.  

As of recently, I felt I had to clean out my closet so to speak, I like to call it "spring cleaning."  What I mean is, I realized that the people I was immersing myself with were  also a big ball of negative energy, the way a vacuum cleaner sucks the crumbs off of a carpet.  I like to call them "energy depleters" or "energy suckers."  Almost as if these other friends were suffocating the life out of me.  It is not because they are bad people or mean, it is because they are very unhappy and miserable in their life.  One woman stands out in my mind the most, because I know she is a nice person and I really liked her up until the point I couldn't take her negativity anymore.  Every time I would speak to her, it was as if she was slowly stabbing me to death.  She repeatedly expressed to me how unhappy she is that she still hasn't met her soulmate and probably never will. She has a very opulent and luxurious lifestyle mostly due to her father who was a doctor. Her father left her with such a comfortable lifestyle that affords her and her mother the luxury to travel all around the world going on cruises and jet setting to countries such as Europe. Her mother also has a timeshare in Florida where she also lives in and she is free to fly back and forth from New York to a posh life in Miami Beach whenever she is getting "tired" of living in New York. She doesn't express all of this to me in a snobby, entitled way of course, instead she tells me all of this in a depressed manner not even realizing how grateful she should feel to have such luxury in her life that the average person does not possess: She doesn't have to worry about finances (understatement of the century) or any debilitating health issues. If she was grateful then she would not be so unhappy and constantly complain. I met her through mutual friends who also have the same vibe as her and come from similar opulent, over privileged backgrounds in NYC. The families of the friend's I am referring to are doctors, bankers and some of them grew up in the Jersey Shore and Madison Avenue. Their parents did not give them much to worry about monetarily speaking (another understatement.) They still overly provide for them even after being a 30 something year old adult, most of which many people do not ever receive even as children. Their wealthy parents offer them a never ending life of accommodation & splendor, some of which consist of  living in a spacious, one bedroom apartment in a luxury building located in Stuyvesant Town and provide for them much more than what their salaries allow them to survive in NYC.  They live in a bubble and don't even realize this! That is how far lost in space they are! 
 Initially, I was flattered that they let me join them in their "circle" of friends until I finally snapped out of it a few years later after I realized it was not much of a compliment!!!  These group of people I hung out with and run into, I now realize might be nice in the beginning, but they are very strange, peculiar, flaky, negative, exhibit major social issues and much more if you scratch beneath the surface. They are also very negative and take their negativity out on me when they are in a bad mood. 
I still laugh to myself because I occasionally run into these people at parties in the city. As of recently, I saw them at a party along with another anti-social & odd friend that updated me with his plans of applying to universities to obtain a PHD while living in a college dormitory at 33 years old! They were all surrounding me as a reminder of the bad energy that followed me in the past! It was all in front of my face and I finally saw them for what they really are! Since I became more attuned with the vibes around me, their energy was impalpable.  "Dara finally snapped out of it! Hooray :)"  (Speaking in the third person.)

 No one should be friends with anyone that doesn't serve them. I feel much better now that I severed ties with them. Although like I had said, they were nice to me and tried to be a good friend at the time.  However, for my own peace of mind and desire to live a very happy life, I need to move on and work on myself in order to attract happy, grateful people that I now strive to be like. I feel the utmost level of gratitude that I incorporate in my everyday life and as a result, the world around me is already changing for the better! 
  I am not writing this entry in a malicious way, it is to serve as a reflection of my own self. After this recent realization, I am very attuned to the energy I am sending out to the universe: I got rid of the negative energy around me and along with gratitude, I think of my life in a  positive, happy way. I am now subconsciously doing my best to send out positive vibes to receive that in return. In order to meet the people, romantic partners, friends and the like that you desire to attract, you have to first act like that yourself. 


 I have such a heightened intuition now that it feels more like a sixth sense. I now walk into a room and sense everyone's vibes and I feel their feelings permeating around me. I go to these classy lounges and I see these wealthy, successful, white collar professionals mostly in the financial sector (bankers, analysts, etc...) looking fresh and glowing; they're wearing these beautiful suits, mostly blazers, white buttoned down shirts and they finish it off with pants and fancy shoes (there must've been a memo passed around here in NYC to all the finance guys to dress in this attire.)  It's a beautiful look, what woman or should I say, anyone would not be impressed with this "financial uniform?!" I notice now that the pocket scarf is a newly added accessory to this look! Unless I never noticed it before!   
However,  I could sense that all of this is all smoke & mirrors.  One experience in particular where I had the pleasure of meeting one of these types of men that I am describing above stands out in my mind:   
 I met this one investment banker at a social function on a rooftop in Turtle Bay. As soon as I noticed him and we locked eyes with each other, I was immediately impressed with how he looked: He was so fresh, he looked rested, in a beautifully polished suit & tie, holding a glass of Pinot Noir. He did not look like he just finished slaving  hours that day at a bank. We then proceeded to introduce ourselves which led to him asking me out for a drink followed by him handing me his business card. We also exchanged numbers. As soon as I looked at his business card, I couldn't help but think to myself, "who wouldn't be impressed?!"  So, like most people these days tend to do thanks to the internet, I go online and look up the bank he works at and I see his biography along with his picture. Listed below are all of his major accomplishments: his degree he received, his financial certifications and the high position that he possesses that obviously took many years of climbing the corporate ladder to reach.  His first photo shows him looking all spiffy in a suit, tie and even adds a scarf to complete this idyllic image of the charmed life that many arduous years of ambition provides for a yuppie. In another professional picture of his, he is sitting at his desk that appears to be a selfie smoking a cigar! Wow! As an outsider looking in, he looks very content and happy with himself.
If I never met him in person first I wouldn't of had any idea that this guy appeared to have any stress and hardship to attain this level of financial success.  We never did re-connect after that and I've seen him several times since. The last time I ran into him was in the winter time at a sports bar. I could feel his unhappiness permeating the room. His vibes did not match up with his shiny exterior. I was very happy to see him and I said hi, but I no longer got that same reaction in return: He was no longer friendly towards me. He gave me a brief hug which felt more out of obligation along with acting stoic towards me and that was where it ended.  Later on, I saw him sitting at the booth next to me with a group of people, and I as I saw him pass me by to buy his friends drinks, his gloomy, stressed vibes were still present. Don't judge a book by its cover, a person's physical appearance and social media could all be just a front. All that glitters isn't gold. 


 This is another pivotal moment I reached in my life that I am forever grateful for. I am now acutely aware of people's vibes  and listen to my intuition.   Vibes THEN actions speak louder than words!!!




Thursday, October 13, 2016

Uncomfortable comfort zones


Do you ever think about comfort zones and re-evaluate yourself and how you live your life? Meaning, do you find that everything you do from the little things to the big things, whether it is changing jobs, ending unhealthy/toxic relationships, moving to a new area/residence is something you avoid like the plague? Or are you very open to change and thrive on it? I am one of the people out there that get bored very easily; from changing my nail polish color to getting bored of eating the same food constantly. I always have to change everything around me, including where I live.   I know people that can't stand change and feel so comfortable with everything around them even if it is not serving them. I find using the word "comfort" next to zone is very short lived. Initially, it might feel good to feel comfortable in the beginning.  When you think of the word "comfortable" you think happy thoughts of rest & relaxation which in essence, is why people get stuck in this zone.  You are used to things being done the same way, situations being the same, people acting the same, etc...However, if you get too stuck you are missing out on opportunities and not being aware of how much better you could improve your life. Comfort zones are inevitably going to change anyway because life changes constantly whether you like it or not.  So if you do not change things in your life for the better, life (circumstances, events, people) will change it for you.   People who are stuck in comfort zones are not attuned to future opportunities and events that could change their life for the better. 

Unchanged change


I remember seeing this film when I was a teenager in the movies.  The quote when Gwyneth Paltrow says"we are who we are, people don't change" always resonated with me all these years later even though I never cared for this film. I strongly believe that a person's true nature and character is innate and cannot be changed. People may grow up and mature and realize looking back that they needed to change their ways, but I strongly disagree that a whole person's being could truly change.  I even notice it with myself.  I have been very attuned with how I treat other people, react and feel in certain situations and in general, and I know I have not changed either.  In retrospect, I know I have grown up immensely and matured since, but who I am as a human being is exactly the same.   Everyone's journey is different as far as growth goes.   
Even after reuniting and/or speaking with friends from my past I always find it amazing how they're personality is exactly the same! It's almost as if we were frozen in time and it was just yesterday when I met them! 





Thursday, October 6, 2016

One door closes and another opens


I have had such a fabulous week so far teaching & coming up with new ideas for my writing. I love to teach students about ELA. Today, I taught a 3rd grade class about personification. I love to give lessons on the current season & holiday because I find it the most interesting and it really piques the students' interest. Today I read them a personified poem about autumn.  They have not been taught that yet and I was very excited to teach them all about what it entails.  I got to use my artistic skills and try to draw as well ;0) Hey, I like how my pumpkins turned out!!!

So many ideas for my writing....I love to be surrounded by books!!


Tuesday, October 4, 2016

NEW YORK CITY BLISS



After my whole life of being a Native New Yorker, I now finally realize why I was born in the city and raised outside of it:  I LOVE NYC! I am a total New York City girl, there was a reason why I was born on the Upper East Side & never ventured further ever since :) I could stroll the streets of the city all day & night and just marvel at the gorgeous skyscrapers, parks, churches, stores, etc........Last night was perfect.  I call it a "Misty Monday" evening.  Midtown East is one of my favorite areas to get lost in! 

It was nice & cool outside. Instead of actual down pouring of rain, it was this light mistiness that felt so refreshing! Almost like you were spraying your face with a Squeeze Breeze bottle. Do any of you remember that growing up? It was a water bottle with a little makeshift fan on top that you could spray water & the fan at the same time? I remember having one as a child when I went to camp. 


I am loving what I see now! Fall is definitely here! Beanies, jackets with faux fur, leather (pleather,) knee length boots! Bring it ;) I think that the fashion for the cold weather is so picturesque, especially white. White jackets and the like bring out the beauty of the snow. 

The image of NYC is that people think it is fast paced and people are in a hurry to get to places. I exemplify this statement. No one walks faster than me! I have three speeds: fast, faster, fastest. I find that most people walk slow though, so I have no idea how this idea came into place! New York City is not for everyone, I'll admit that. The Subway (MTA) is a whole new world. For someone coming from another planet such as a small mid western state from a small town on a farm, I would not be surprised if they experience shell shock. I have friends who grew up not too far from here and they have phobias of crowds & how busy it is here (to put it mildly.) 
I love the fact that I DO NOT need a car! As a matter of fact, it is so unnecessary that to have a car that it would be more of an obligation (kind of like a acrimonious marriage.) Parking is non existent, the traffic is a nightmare, and with all of the mass transit such as subways, buses, cabs, walking, etc....what is the reason? It never ceases to amaze me when some people act surprised when I tell them that I do not have  a car, especially when they are originally from here as well.





I feel like Midtown East is the location of my second home a.k.a. Grand Central Station. Growing up in Westchester County, I have always commuted via train from Grand Central Station. I had the pleasure of  this grandiose, historical, beautifully colossal sized building being the first thing I saw in the morning to the last thing I would see coming home. I still venture in and around Grand Central and could never grow tired of marveling at how ornate and spectacular this train station truly is. I don't think calling it, "Grand Central Terminal" or "Grand Central Train Station" does it any justice. It is more like the Buckingham Palace of New York City. It feels like you're walking in a never ending museum with marble floors, stairways and the like. When you look all the way up to the infinitely high ceiling in the center of the station you see all the constellations of the sky and it is truly a great imitation of the actual sky. There are never ending boutiques/marketplaces, restaurants, etc. all around you and in what seems like hidden tunnels. One of the most famous landmarks is home there, too: Oyster Bar, which is is the major part of what makes Grand Central so historical.
 I have been so fortunate to have grown up taking Metro North and having this wonderland be my home away from home. Every time I am there I imagine what it must feel like for all the tourists from all walks of life scattered around me think when they take pictures & selfies to capture the moment of seeing such a dazzling, historical piece of history that helped make NYC what it is today. Weddings even take place there with photographers circling around the bride & groom while they express their commitment of their never ending love for everyone inside this "station" to see.
I can't help but think of the antithesis of what I just described, which is Penn Station in Midtown West. People that commute via train that are from Long Island and New Jersey I always feel bad for. If you ever been to Penn Station as well as Grand Central, you would know exactly what I am talking about. I compare it to the nine circles of hell from Dante's Inferno by Dante Aligierii.  Dante's Inferno is a 14th Century religious allegory which takes place in Italy and was originally written in Italian. A person venturing from Midtown West where Penn Station is located all the way to Midtown East where Grand Central Station is could feel the way Dante did in his book when he got lost in the forest and attempted to climb up the mountain where the sun was shining on it, but as he was climbing it he was blocked by three beasts. As Dante attempts to turn around to resume back to the darkened woods he is greeted by the ghost of Virgil who is the great Roman poet and comes to Dante's rescue. He tells Dante he will help him get back on his path to the top of the mountain but the hitch is that they are going to go through hell to eventually get to heaven. Needless to say, Penn Station is the opening gates of hell and Grand Central is the opening gates of heaven!!! 

Monday, October 3, 2016

I'm the Taylor Swift of Blogging (Minus the eating disorder & chastity belt)






Rainy days and Monday's always get me UP!!!

I know it's been a few days to about a week maybe since I last blogged?! I honestly don't recall because I am living in the moment. 
I have been very busy with my career & attending to various personal engagements. Since the inception of this blog my thoughts have been all over the place, hence why I have written about eclectic subjects.  

For the start of this week, the wheels are turning in my head to write about my current personal experiences a.k.a. ridiculous situations that I just laugh off because I am always laughing at myself! I am enjoying this so far because it is generating my mind to write in a comical, witty somewhat humorous way that I call my life!!! All the credit goes to the universe for responding to my vibes!  So stay tuned...

I am enjoying my day off relaxing with my delicious XL iced coffee! It's the little things to appreciate in life and be grateful for, just to enjoy my much needed dose of java and recharge my batteries might seem to be little things, but in actuality they are BIG things and a blessing! 
Happy Monday!