This is one of the most overrated cliche's ever created. But if this statement wasn't true, then it would not become a cliche. How many people do you think really take this into account in their lives? In any facet of their life? Whether it be professional, personal etc....? Because, to be honest I never took this into consideration until years later when I was in my early to mid 20's. Of course I've heard of this cliche ever since I could remember, but I never really made sure to have it resonate in my mind in everything I do and everything I have in my life. It is not like I took things for granted because I never did, but I never appreciated and felt so grateful for everything in my life like I do now. Which brings me to a very particular incident that occurred in my life that made this cliche hit me like a ton of bricks.:
I have always been thin/slender. Starting from childhood, I never had much of an appetite. I never had a problem with food, it was just that I was never that hungry. I would eat in moderation, never in mass quantities. Growing up, I was so thin that teachers and nurses in school would ask my mother if I was suffering from an eating disorder. Of course my mom knew I wasn't. I have always had a healthy relationship with food. So, I always took for granted looking back in my life that I was thin and could always eat what I want, mostly due to the fact that I never had such an insatiable appetite. All of that changed when I turned 25. I was undergoing a lot of stress in my life and I turned to food as a drug. I barely drink and I have never tried any other drugs and never had a desire to do so. So, when I hit this stressful time in my life, for the first time my relationship with food began to completely alter. I started eating mass quantities, I had such a avaricious appetite. I use the word "avaricious" because looking back in retrospect, it felt like I was very greedy in the sense that I could never stop eating, especially mostly highly fattening foods. I was always physically active since I was a teenager; I went to the gym, I hired my first personal trainer at 18 years old, and followed that routine when I graduated from high school. I always took fitness classes. All of this was with little to no effort to stay lean like I always was. I never gave it a second thought that my weight would ever change till I turned 25. My dad claims that I once told him that I would never be fat. I do not remember saying this, but I would not be surprised if that was true. Anyway, after eating a lot more when I was 25 years old, my weight began to increase. It felt like the weight gain happened so quickly before my very eyes! I always thought how could people not notice that they are putting on weight if they are starting not to fit into their clothes? Well, now I understand since it happened to me. Before I knew it, I put on 64 llbs! I was a good 40-45 llbs overweight. At that point, when I finally realized how big I got, I was stuck. My greedy ways with food became a permanent way of living my life. I always tried to lose the weight by going to Weight Watchers and still continuing my gym routine, but nothing worked. I would always lose the first 5-10 llbs easily, mostly because it was water weight; but then I would become frustrated and put it back on. This went on for about a good 2.5 years. I thought I would be the "fat girl" forever. I became a shell of myself. Honestly, I do not even remember what I felt like, I just knew I was miserable. I would go out to parties and other social events, and think to myself: "if only I was thin again, that guy would like me." Or, "that girl isn't even pretty! He just likes her because she's thin! If I was my 'old self,' he would like me instead!" It felt like this went on for an eternity. I don't know how being 64 llbs overweight I had the confidence to still go out and sign up for dating sites. But, somehow I did! About 2.5 years later, (I do not remember the EXACT time frame down to the "penny"), I slowly changed my eating habits. I did not follow a specific/prescribed diet, (you do not have to, just eat healthy and in smaller quantities,) which I did along with establishing my former workout regimen.
All of a sudden, I lost my first 15 llbs. This gave me the motivation to keep on going. Then my mom's birthday approached. I took her to dinner at Serafina and I made a promise to myself that after indulging that evening I would finally lose the remainder of weight to become the "old me" again. I signed up for Nutrisystem, and followed it for the next 6 months along with exercise. I lost another 25 llbs. It felt like a miracle that I was finally able to get past that obstacle in my life. At that point, I was an average weight.
After that, I lost the remainder of weight on my own. I no longer fit into my clothes (obviously,) I had so much energy, I felt so rested, I no longer was falling asleep at school & work. Those were the immediate results I remember.
Summer of 2015, felt like deja vu! I must say, this was my "coming out" party (metaphorically speaking.) That felt like the last summer before the sh** went down. I was able to fit into my old bikini's, and I got so much attention when I went out. It felt so good! I look in the mirror now and I see staring back at me the girl I was before. Even my mom comments that I look exactly the same again. Being heavy made me look much older. People that first met me before I was heavy popped out of the woodwork when they saw the results on my social media. It is funny, there were some guys that I never even spoken to in the same circle of friends that I used to hang out with in town. One in particular out of the clear blue sky, messaged me on Facebook just to hit on me. Of course he tried to do this in a nonchalant way, but it was obvious, especially after he said "you look great, not that I'm hitting on you." He was so compelled to see me after all these years later from never even uttering a word to me four years ago, that we met in the city for dinner! After he saw that I was TOTALLY not interested in him, mostly because he is around 5"4 and I am 5"9 without shoes and personality wise he is just not my type (to put it mildly & to not insult him), he vanished off of the face of the earth never to be heard from again!
I am proud of myself that I was able to accomplish such a major hurdle in my life. But nothing in life worth having is easy. After you lose weight, you have to change your mindset & diet completely. There is no magic drug that will help you lose weight easily and to keep it off. You have to do the work yourself; it is a constant battle. However, if losing weight was so easy, you wouldn't feel like you accomplished anything because you did it with no effort. My relationship with food will never be the same. I am now very hungry and could eat like a horse, I crave food all the time even when I know I am not really hungry. Mentally, I still feel like that has not changed. Sometimes I have days where I am still not happy with my physical appearance and more work needs to be done, and I compare myself to other women. But I quickly turn those negative thoughts into positive thoughts and know that isn't true; I am only human and I do the best I can by staying very physically active, cooking healthy meals, and eating "junk food" in moderation, I like to refer to it as a cheat day. I feel a great deal of empathy for other people that are going through the same thing. All I have to say to you is that take one step at a time, it is better to lose weight slowly over a longer period of time to keep it off, crash diets never work, you always end up putting back on the weight quickly. Starving yourself or skipping meals does the opposite as well, it actually makes you put on weight because your body goes into starvation mode and stores fat instead. Rome wasn't built in a day. If I could do it, you could do it!!!
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