Babies R Us???

I feel like we now live in a world where having a baby is like purchasing an item from Best Buy. Did you get your warranty and save your receipt in case you would like to return your purchase? Because that is how I feel people think about these days about having babies.  These people can't even financially afford to have a child let alone be in the right mindset to give a child a proper upbringing. Some of them are barely in a stable relationship! It's like babies having babies. I understand that we are in a dawn of a new era where couples are now cohabiting & having children out of wedlock and that is up to them but I feel men & women think that having a child is no big deal, that it is not life changing and that you don't have to be prepared for it the rest of your life. Also, once you procreate with a man/woman you are tied to them forever, it is not like you could split things down the middle and sell or give your house, car & other possessions to your ex and wash your hands clean of them. Couples are even treating the pets they had together like children & battling it out in court for custody!  Also speaking from an evolutionary standpoint, wouldn't you want to assess if the man is good father material i.e. would provide your kids with a proper upbringing and make a good partner? I know that when I initially go out on a date with someone new those are things I think about in the back of my mind starting with his family background and then how he is in general. 

I once had a friend who came from a wealthy, Jewish upbringing and we were the same age and she expressed to me how she would love to be a mother. Well, she suffered from depression, she didn't have much of a relationship with the man she was dating i.e. they fought all of the time, i.e. her mostly likely seed guy a.k.a. victim! In a nutshell it was a toxic relationship and she worked a menial job as a hair stylist but with her daddy's pot of gold she could swing it. Well a few months later, lo & behold she called me to tell me she was pregnant! At first I did not believe her because she speaks mainly in a sarcastic and somewhat surly manner but it was true! Her boyfriend did impregnate her. I definitely thought she did this on the sly but she swore up and down that it was not planned. I am more inclined to believe that pigs fly than believe her. Her boyfriend even called me and confided to me that he was very upset about it and did not have any intentions of having a child with her yet. They were merely dating and most of their relationship for the short amount of time so far mainly consisted of drinking, having lots of sex & arguing all in her father's mansion in Larchmont, NY that he left to her mother: Her parents were divorced but her mother was mostly never home; she spent most of her time in the house they had in Boca Raton. Anyway, he was VERY shaken up and upset and he told me she must've tampered with the protection they used so she could have her baby. He said they thought about one day down the road having a child together once his construction business lifted off the ground and mind you they were still in the in the beginning stages of dating, so he said they agreed maybe in about 2 years they would plan something indelible & life changing like this. This subsequently led to her giving birth to a boy and of course they split and she ended up moving to Florida to join her family in raising her son as a single mother. Are you surprised? She even inherited her late grandmother's estate let alone the money to afford all other expenses to accommodate a South Beach luxurious way of living. Needless to say, her hairstylist gig is good enough for her to survive on! 

He on the other hand, stayed in Westchester because his business was there and his parents lived there. Her mother is over the moon that she is now a grandmother especially since my former friend is the only child. From all appearances on social media she and her mother look like they are blissfully happy raising the child with virtually no father and a single mother. The child is being showered in opulence since his single mother could afford all of this. 

Now this is an extreme example. But in general I see young mothers all around me that are in their early 20's who are already having kids. These unwed mothers still have not finished school yet and do not have a financially stable career to raise children but yet they do. One young girl told me that I was doing "things the right way" because I told her I need to get my career off the ground before I even dream of becoming a mother. Another woman I know who is 52 years old has 3 kids all around my age from a few different boyfriends and I said, "wow you had kids young!" Well she replied as if it was like buying a doll and said, "I always wanted kids so why not get an early start." These girls and guys are not only having them with one person either! They are bona fide baby mamas and baby daddys! They have them with various partners and think nothing of it, as if deciding to have children with someone isn't an indelible & permanent decision that won't alter the rest of your life forever.  This decision should be well planned & calculated & not made on a whim and acted upon your feelings: This will completely alter the course of events in your future that could either bring you the most joy or pain and there is no going back. Not only that, but this takes a toll on your children's lives as well, children are innocent and if you don't give them the proper upbringing they will also be permanently scarred. 

I feel like I am the only one that thinks having children is a HUGE step and I need a lot set in place before I even dream of this. I would love to be a mother as much as the next girl but I need a stable career and I want to be married first before I have children, that means a lot to me personally.